Wow!

I can't believe I haven't done anything with this since June! I swear it was just yesterday that I was trying to find time to put Velcro Baby down and post.

Well, a lot has happened since my last update. Velcro Baby will be 7 months old in a few days, The Nut is a second grader, and Frito is potty training. And a lot has stayed the same. Velcro Baby still demands a lot of attention, The Nut is still getting in trouble in school and Frito is still in the 'Terrible Twos." Of course, the DEGREES of sameness are different. VB likes to get down on the floor and explore and find things to choke on, The Nut doesn't get in trouble NEARLY as much as she used to and Frito isn't *quite* as terrible as she was a few months ago. And we are still calling the FEMA trailer home, unfortunately.

With VB we did find one reason for her to be so fussy and such a restless sleeper-----she was diagnosed with eczema at 5 months old. I can't tell you how awful I feel that my *fussy* baby was most likely in a lot of pain with severe itches that she couldn't scratch. :o( We changed detergents, keep her slathered in Vaseline and use cortisone cream when it gets too bad but we're sort of stumbling through finding what works and what makes it worse. She gets SO tired and wants to go to sleep so bad but the itchiness keeps her awake so I'll start rubbing her *hot spots* and her little eyes roll back in her head and she starts to settle down. It's very sad and many nights I just keep rubbing and trying different spots and whispering, "I'm so sorry" to her as she cries and tries to sleep.

She also isn't what I'd call an easy teether. Her 2 bottom teeth are in and the 2 top are just starting to poke through and it's very difficult to tell if her fussiness and unease are due to the eczema, teething or both. I hate not knowing HOW to make her feel better and I pray that she's one of the lucky ones who outgrow their eczema issues.

The Nut is growing so fast. I told TGTBT the other day that sometimes I forget that she was that baby who was our world for almost 5 years before Frito came along. I forget that the kid with the attitude is the same child who was such an amazing toddler who captured hearts everywhere we went. It seems impossible that this kid who comes storming in to raid the fridge and toss her backpack on the couch is the same baby we used to kiss and cuddle and who made our life MEAN something. I now understand the heartbreak I would hear in other mothers' voices when they'd ask, "Where did my baby go?" It very much seems like the film just stopped and somebody put in the second reel of a completely different movie. I've come to realize that the yearning for another baby as your children grow isn't that you want ANOTHER baby. You want YOUR baby back. It's an uneasy alliance with this stranger and there's a bit of resentment that they *took* your baby. It's a very odd feeling and one that I don't care for very much.

Frito seems to have outgrown the taking off the diaper and playing with poop phase. About a month ago she came down with what we think (in hindsight) was rotovirus and I was going through diapers like you wouldn't believe because of the diarrhea. I said, "Next time you need to poop let me know and you can go on the potty." Sure enough, she almost immediately started saying, "Poo poo, potty!" so we ran over there and she went! Several times. It was diarrhea, after all. Since then we haven't been pushing it but have been taking her when she wants to go and she still doesn't have the timing just right as she always wants to try AFTER she's just gone in the diaper. But it looks like once we get that worked out she'll be an easy trainer like The Nut was.

As for the house, we've been having one issue after another that's pushed the move-in date back further and further. Every time we think we're getting so close some other bump in the road appears and we have to stop the car, get out to evaluate the situation and devise a new route to get us back on the right path. TGTBT is at his breaking point, I think. He's done so well with everything but he's SO fed up with people who don't know how to run their business, do quality work or keep their word that he's really rethinking our choice to stay and rebuild. Up to this point we've been saying that everything we went through will be worth it once we're back inside OUR house and it's just the way we want it.

I think we both now feel that we don't really care. I always thought that looking at my new kitchen cabinets built exactly the way I wanted them would make me feel pride and a sense of satisfaction. Lately I've had this scary feeling that instead they'll just be a constant reminder of WHY we were out of the house so long and that I'll hate them for that. Walking into our newly done bedroom may not feel like a sanctuary and a retreat just for us. It may just signal the stark difference between that and how we've lived for the past year and add to the stress instead of melt it away.

Well, nothing to snap you out of a philosophical funk like a 2-year old in her crib crying, "Mama! Help me! Help me!" I guess she has bigger problems than I do right now so let me go see what I can do to fix them.

Culinary Skillz

The Nut fixed herself a sandwich. Picture it----hamburger bun, mustard, ham, lettuce. Not too shabby. What did she add to put it over the top fantastic?

Grape jelly.

She ate it.

She liked it.

She can't be my child.

Parents Just Don't Understand!!!!

I thought we had a few more years before we got to that phase. Our neighbors had a crawfish boil yesterday and TGTBT and The Nut spent some time over there. I tried all day to get dressed to go but velcro baby was having none of it. Later that evening The Nut walked in front of me all sullen looking. I asked what was wrong.

"Sigh----I really wanted to keep that crawfish but Daddy wouldn't let me."

TGTBT pipes up. "It was dead, Peanut."

"I know! I didn't want a live one because it would pinch me!"

"Well, you can't keep a dead crawfish because it'll start to stink."

"That's better than it pinching me!"

So TGTBT and I are talking over each other giving her reasons why keeping a dead crawfish isn't a good idea and she lets out an exasperated sigh and stomps off to her room saying, "You guys just don't understand!" And she slammed her door for good measure. Six years old. I told TGTBT that I can't imagine what's in store for us when PMS hits.

TGTBT has been shuffling around and going through lots of frozen peas the past few days. I also caught him with my broccoli florets so there goes my plans for chicken fried rice. I ask him every half hour or so if he has any regrets yet and he always says 'no' so that's good. It's still hard for me to fathom the idea of no more babies. Ever. I still don't think it's really sunk in and I doubt it will until I start getting baby fever.

I suppose I'm just not used to making decisions based on logic only. I usually weigh things by giving about 50% to logic and 50% to emotions or gut feelings. In this case my emotions say there's a very good possibility I/we will want more kids down the line but the logic screams that 3 is enough.

I just need to keep picturing family vacations in about 3 years with no infants. And no more waking 3-4 times at night to nurse. And no more buying diapers. And no more packing the entire dresser in the diaper bag just to run to the store.

And no more kicks in my belly. And no more meeting someone so new yet so familiar. And no more tiny fuzzy heads on my shoulder. And no more losing myself in baby blue eyes while I nurse. And no more cuddling up against a small warm body while I sleep.

And now, no more wistful thoughts. I'm off to go cuddle up against a small warm body and go to sleep.

TGTBT Has Gone and Done it.........

this morning he had the Big V. Our childbearing years are now most definitely over. I've been pretty ambivalent about it but now that it's done I feel relief. We can now move on to the next stage in our life which is exciting. He's staying at his father's house today and tonight so that he doesn't have to deal with kids running around and possibly jumping on him while he recovers. I'm sure that by the time he gets home tomorrow I'll be totally over the thought of ever wanting any more kids. :o)

Yesterday my mother and sister were visiting and they wanted to see the changes we've made to the house so far. So I finished nursing the baby and stood up and started to usher them outside. I began tugging on the bottom of my shirt to make sure it was pulled down and my tummy wasn't showing as there are workers crawling all over the place inside the house. About the time my sister piped up and said something I felt the breeze. I was wearing a nursing tank under my shirt and was so concerned about making sure it was down over my belly that I left my boob hanging completely out. Like my sister said, I've spent the better part of the past 2 years nursing babies so it seems much more natural to me to have my boobs uncovered. TGTBT is a fan of nursing for that reason.

Anyway, I'm in sort of a 'blah' mood today and I'm having trouble thinking of funny things the kids have done lately so I'm signing out now. This is probably the quietest and calmest it'll be over here for the next couple of days and I don't want to waste it by "working."

One last note though before I go. My aunt was in a bad car accident a few days ago and is in critical condition. She has multiple injuries and some extenuating circumstances that make it difficult to treat her the way they normally would. I'd appreciate it if you would keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Yesterday was AWESOME!

Not really, no. Night before last was pretty hectic with the baby so the kitchen didn't get cleaned and both sinks were stacked sky high with dishes. I also didn't get to take a bath so I was already in a foul mood when I woke up. I played with the baby for a while and then realized that she had peed out of her diaper and her pajamas smelled like old dry pee. Which meant I now smelled like old dry pee. On top of my self-generated filth.

So I stumbled into the kitchen and eyed the filth in there and was trying to figure out which filthiness I wanted to tackle first---kitchen or myself---when TGTBT comes in from the house and says, "FYI, the plumbers are about to turn off the water." Niiiiiiiiiiice. All I have to say is it's a good thing I'm a lackadaisical housekeeper and dirty dishes don't drive me up the wall AND that TGTBT has a sinus infection and can't smell anything right now.

Later that afternoon Frito added to the fun. I was getting ready to lay the baby down for a nap and she was ALMOST asleep in my arms when Frito threw a blanket over her head and started shuffling around moaning like a ghost. She walked over to me and lifted the blanket and said, "Boo!" She no longer says, "Bah." :o( We 'boo'd' back and forth at each other a few times and then she pulled the blanket back down over her head and turned to walk away. She stepped on the blanket and went face first into the coffee table.

She screams and cries which scares the heck out of the baby so SHE'S screaming and crying and I'm trying to calm them both down when blood starts pouring out of Frito's mouth. I tossed the baby (not really----I laid her gently down) onto the couch and call TGTBT's cell phone to tell him to get in here ASAP. Frito wouldn't let me look inside her mouth to see how badly she was hurt and I'm picturing the worst and an emergency trip to the dentist. TGTBT comes in and is pretty much useless because his hands are covered in grime from working in the house and we have no WATER to wash them. All this time both girls are screaming their heads off.

TGTBT finally just uses his dirty thumb to lift Frito's upper lip and he says, "Hey, look at this." I look. And my body temperature raises about 100 degrees and I start to feel woozy. I actually have to lay my head in my hand and I tell TGTBT that I'm about to pass out. Somehow, the inside of her upper lip, the area where the cleft is that's between the nose and upper lip, is STUCK between her two front teeth. TGTBT asks me why I'm about to pass out and I start to cry, "Because my baby's LIP is stuck between her TEETH and she's BLEEDING!" Did I mention that I'm a big ol' whimp when it comes to my kids getting hurt? Yeah, I have.

Now Frito's not crying anymore and she's looking very confused. She looks at me and then at TGTBT and points at me as she babbles as if to say, "What the heck's HER problem?" I try to compose myself to not upset her and after a few minutes the blood stops and she goes back to sucking her thumb and running around playing. I, however, have had multiple panic attacks every time I picture what happened.

I guess it's a good thing we had all girls because from what I hear, little boys pretty much have a new injury every day to deal with. Maybe someone who knows better than I knew I couldn't handle it.

Zero Tolerance = No Common Sense

I am so irritated right now. I am just fed up with the public school system. EVERYTHING has to be made an issue and there's no more "let's call the parents and let them handle it."

I got a call from the principal today telling me to come get The Nut because she was hugging and kissing a boy on the field during P.E. He also said that she's suspended tomorrow which is the last day of school.

Ok. These kids are six. It's not like they were frenching each other. If anything it was a peck or two MAYBE on the lips but most likely on the cheek. At any rate, they're SIX. Does it really require a suspension? Can they not see the difference between 2 sixteen year olds kissing in an empty classroom and 2 six year olds pecking on the field during P.E.? One scenario is serious and the other is innocent. In fact, not too long ago adults would giggle at 2 six year olds kissing and would maybe even take pictures. GASP. Now it's grounds for disciplinary action.

@@ <----------That's me rolling my eyes.

I wish I could homeschool but I know my limitations. Too bad we don't live next door to a retired teacher who loves kids and wants a little extra income. I just don't see things getting any better over the next 11 years.

Technical Difficulties

The Nut just came up to me and told me she couldn't get the apple juice machine to work. I was confused until I went into the kitchen.

I recently bought a pitcher to put the apple juice in since we buy the giant one gallon glass containers of juice. This was the first time she used the pitcher and didn't know she had to turn the lid so the open part was lined up with the pour spout.

Apple juice machine, LOL.