Should I Glue the Diapers On?

I don't know what Frito's deal is but she cannot stand to have a diaper on anymore. Yesterday I was on the phone with my mom while Frito was napping. The Nut was home from school because she swore she was awake all night and was too tired to go. She also had a stuffy nose and a bit of a cough so it was somewhat justified. Frito woke up and The Nut went to go get her. The Nut came back into my room and announced that Frito was naked.

So I go to see the damage and on the way The Nut says, "Don't touch her hiney.......it's wrinkled." Poor Frito. She inherited TGTBT's muscular thighs and they got wrapped in a layer of my cellulite. When she was younger I used to take her diaper off and show anybody who cared to see how it looked like someone took a meat tenderizer to her backside. You have never seen a more dimpled baby butt in your life and it was absolutely adorable. She's slowly outgrowing it and I'm happy for her sake but it's bittersweet.

At any rate, I walk in and she's standing in her crib, in a pile of pee, buck naked with her baby in one arm. She's just sucking her thumb and looking at me as if there's not a thing wrong with what she's done. I clean her up and remind her, again, that we don't take off our diaper. I'm sure she got the message and it won't happen again.

Later I decide the girls can take a bath together so I get the bath ready, take off Frito's diaper and set her in the tub. I go to fold the diaper up and throw it away and I see poop in there. Great. I stand her up and see poop on her hiney and now there's flotsam and jetsam murking up the bathwater. The Nut is freaking out at this point and Frito again doesn't seem to see what the big deal is. I get her cleaned up, get the tub cleaned up and try again. Success.

That evening Frito disappears into The Nut's room while we're in the living room watching tv. I heard her playing and the door was open so I let her be. After a while we notice it's quiet. I call to her a few times and listen carefully. She's still quiet so I'm just about to haul myself up off the couch and go check when I see her naked butt come sliding off the bed. DANG IT! I check carefully and there's no pee anywhere, thank goodness. I've even started to make sure she's clothed thinking that will be a deterrant but no dice so far. She even managed to take off a long-sleeved footed sleeper that zips all the way up the front AND has a snap over that. I'm thinking industrial strength adhesive might do the trick so I'll have to check on that next time I'm at Home Depot.

My belly gets really hot lately (my guess is all the cellular activity it contains at the moment) so I tied my t-shirt up between my boobs yesterday and went about my business. At one point The Nut and Frito were on the couch and I walked past and sat down beside them. The Nut said, "Mom, I don't want to tell you this in front of Frito so let me whisper in your ear." I said that wasn't necessary and she could just tell me. She looks at Frito and shrugs and says, "Okaaaaay. You have a big fat belly." Like that's some big top-secret piece of information. That didn't bother me because I have a baby in there. I'll survive.

However, as I was getting out of the bath she smacked my butt and said, "I like doing that because I like to watch your hiney wiggle." That one stung. The smack AND the honesty.