Worst Afternoon Ever

Ok, not really. But nothing seemed to go my way today.

I picked up The Nut from school and she was all polite and being sweet after taking an HOUR to get ready this morning and being 10 minutes late to school. On the way home I was coming up on traffic at a red light and she starts screaming, "Whoa! Whoa! You're gonna' wreck! Slow down, slow down, slow down, STOP!!!" For the record, I wasn't anywhere close to hitting them. She then says, "I'm glad you didn't hit that car because then you'd go to jail and I don't want you to go to jail because you'd be DEAD by the time you got out!"

Then, after we get home she says, "Mama are you proud of me? I'm being all nice and sweet. That's called relative. I'm being relative."

I have no idea where that came from but I'll take what I can get. And in case you're wondering, she stopped "being relative" shortly thereafter.

Once when I was picking her up from Kindergarten the teacher she was standing with burst out laughing right as I pulled up and I could see her getting the other teachers' attention and telling them something. She opened the car door and I asked what was so funny and she said that The Nut looked at her and said, out of the blue, "Sometimes my daddy calls me a turd."

That's more like it.

I got us a little more settled in today but this just isn't going to be easy. My number 1 complaint is that the sink is at the very end of the counter with the stove right next to it. Tell me a man didn't design that layout because there's NOWHERE to put a dish drainer. So I've been laying dishes out on towels to dry all day long.

I actually had many, many things go wrong for me today. I won't get into them all but I'll tell you about one because it is just typical me, all the way around. I was on the phone with TGTBT as I was coming back in from bringing The Nut to school and I saw water all over the floor in front of the fridge and spreading all over the kitchen. I said, "Uh oh. The fridge is leaking." He said, "Oh, I bet the valve on the water dispenser isn't turned sideways."

Sure enough. Since we don't have a built in water dispenser in this fridge he bought a 2 gallon container that he filled and it has the valve off the front of it that you flip one direction for the water to flow and flip back to shut it off. He had it turned sideways and the first thing I did this morning was to turn it forward which meant the refrigerator door pressed on it when it was closed. So almost 2 gallons of water was all over the floor. Nice.

There was also an incident this afternoon involving burning rice and a smoke-filled trailer but I won't bore you with the details.

Public Service Announcement: When you're cooking on a brand new stove, don't just glance at the controls before you work them. Make sure you know what you're looking at. PSA over.

The Nut is obsessed about fires and fire safety and often talks about escape plans at random moments. Today's incident happened in about 5 minutes as I was rushing to take a bath. I smelled the smoke and came out covered in soap and shampoo to see The Nut on the computer without a CLUE that the trailer was filled with smoke. I was rushing around turning on vents and opening windows and praying that the 15 smoke alarms wouldn't go off. (No exaggeration. There are 3 just within my sight right now in one room. My guess is whoever FEMA contracted to build the trailers charged $5000 per alarm so they jammed as many in as they could.) The entire time she's just sitting there on the computer and not even looking at me but saying, "I didn't notice. I don't know how I didn't notice but I didn't notice. Good thing the trailer didn't catch on fire, huh?"